Comedic Bard Appreciator Gifts

'Are you sure that's right, only we Sagittarians aren't usually that ambitious.'

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

Wedding Day Itinerary.

'How's everyone doing tonight - that is the question.'

"Dare I ask for mustard?"

'Just look at him. The face that lunched on a thousand chips.'

'Choose, Fenster

Sale on Bathing Suits, One Size Fits None.

"Boss, I guarantee you that my intentions with your daughter are serious."

Cow being force fed hormones and producing milk.

'Well, somebody on this stupid little planet ordered an extra-large with pepperoni and mushrooms!'

'Wine represents all things civilized. It's an artistic expression, a manifestation of cultural enlightenment...'

'Please, could you me to Polish my diet!'

'Bye dear! I'll have another nice reindeer steak ready for you when you get back.'

'It's Blurred.'

I know I'm not qualified for the job, but watch my incredible video resume anyway. It got an Honorable Mention at Cannes!

'Sorry'

"Oh boy, by the way this guy is moving, we can assume he's got some of our friends in his pants..."

"We're gonna need a bigger comic."

''It's me or your stupid racing pigeons' I said - then immediately regretted it.'

'All You Can Eat Wings.'

'When you said you were a bee keeper...'

"You'd like a book by Shakespeare? Certainly sir - which one. . .?"

'This month I'll be cooked & my bones ripped apart in a wishing contest.'

'In an unexpected development, an illegal alien won 'American Idol.''

"You should always stretch before engaging in strenuous activity."

Sleigh Ride

New, Improved Cat

Animal Olympics: 'What do you say next year we have some non-cheetah races?'

'Sometimes it's not a very good idea to be indecisive.'

'As you can see, the region is full of investment opportunities.'

"You heading south again this summer?"

North Pole.

"Young lady! You aren't going anywhere dressed like that!"

The violin lesson