Comedic Ailment Sufferer Pillows

'Let's keep this simple - what part of you doesn't hurt?'

"Soul searching? Yes, you could call it that."

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

"Who's got the hammer?"

"Until the plaster sets, try not to laugh."

Man with fishing line going into water. Fishing line coming down from sky.

Breast Height Chart

Only then, did Medusa realise her mistake.

'The guys say that the stripper won't be available before our wedding...would you mind if I had my bachelor party after the honeymoon?'

'Just remember, he's bigger, but you're funnier. As soon as he starts laughing, you've got him!'

Insecurities of the Bald Eagle.

"Haven't you a small one that would fit into a soldier's pack?"

'I used to trade in futures until I learned the planet doesn't have one.'

Man wearing T-Shirt saying 'Dog's Best Friend'

"Now, now, relax. All you're gonna feel is a quick jab."

'Well, that WAS an impressive string of obscenities, but I think I'll stick with the Hippocratic oath.'

"Will I still be able to not exercise?"

"I think what he's trying to tell you, dear, is that he doesn't quite care for the cheaper dog food!"

'Good news hon' ! It's nothing serious! The doctor said it's just a simple case of Tennis Elbow!'

'Cool it with the herbal shampoo -- you've got aphids.'

A question you don't want - "How many fingers am I holding up."

'Alright, alright. I had a hard day fighting crime. No need to get smart about it.'

Cat doctor to cat patient sitting on exam table 'All I'm saying is liposuction won't help if you don't lay off the tuna smoothies.'

'Do you have to do that every time?'

'Well, at least we were able to remove that pesky hangnail. So, you have to be pretty stoked about that."

Pirate Paddle Boat.

'We'll have a bed for you in a couple of days.'

"You keep him busy while I go for help."

"Enough medical mumbo jumbo, just give it to me straight, Doc-will I ever be able to play piano again?"

'It's your lucky day. I just went vegan.'

"That's it - we've eaten the last of the energy bills."

"You'd like a second opinion? Okay, I think you should stay off the furniture too."