Comedic Insomniac Pillows

'Frank! Cut that out and get back to work!'

"Maybe we should have just had a baby..."

'Well, that WAS an impressive string of obscenities, but I think I'll stick with the Hippocratic oath.'

"Now, now, relax. All you're gonna feel is a quick jab."

"I'm taking you off sleeping pills and putting you on Proust."

A question you don't want - "How many fingers am I holding up."

"They say this will keep us up all night like that's a bad thing."

"My father said I was too big for my britches!"

'We'll have a bed for you in a couple of days.'

"Before I prescribe a sleeping pill, I'd like you to try the opera."

"When Van Gogh had insomnia he created masterpieces."

"Enough medical mumbo jumbo, just give it to me straight, Doc-will I ever be able to play piano again?"

"I'm going to give you something to help you sleep."

"When I can't sleep I don't count sheep I count my blessings."

Noah falls asleep by counting animal pairs.

"This book put me to sleep—It was wonderful."

"See how much better you look after a good nights sleep."

"I know you're just trying to be helpful, but why don't you let me decide where my acupunture needles should go?"

'No appointments are available for the next three months, but you can always call in to the doctor's talk show.'

'We're making progress on my insomnia. My foot went to sleep last night.'

"But counting sheep makes me hungry."

"He's chasing his dreams."

"You've been daylighting, haven't you ?"

"Must you page swipe so loudly?"

Daily Promise...

"If you really wanted to, you could beat this insomnia with your eyes closed."

I couldn't sleep so I thought I'd embroider my memoirs a bit.

'It's great that you can laugh at yourself, but can you not do it in the middle of the night?'

'One will help you sleep like a log. The other one's to keep the termites away.'

'The new baby? Oh he's great! I haven't slept in 4 days, but the baby is great!'

"The video of you giving that big bloke a piece of your mind has gone viral!"

'Next time try decaf.'

'How's your insomnia?' - 'Terrible, I can't even sleep when it's time to get up.'

"Is the light bothering you dear?"