Chronic Insomniac Pillows

Coffee. I'm just a boring insomniac. What should I put in my online dating profile? Say you're "up for anything"!

'We're making progress on my insomnia. My foot went to sleep last night.'

Dog Nightmares

'I never get a good night's sleep. Thank God for these office meetings!'

'It's midnight, do you know where your brain is?'

That midnight hour when fleeting memories come home to roost.

"Maybe we should have just had a baby..."

"Oh good, more time alone for quiet reflection."

"Where's the ball? Where's the ball?"

The Forever Stamp

"Call him Koffee- he keeps us awake!"

Things that go beep in the night.

"I'm taking you off sleeping pills and putting you on Proust."

"They say this will keep us up all night like that's a bad thing."

"It's only insomnia if there's nothing good on."

It's always the same dream. I'm in therapy, analyzing my recurring dream.

The afternoons are okay, it's at night that I can't sleep.

"When Van Gogh had insomnia he created masterpieces."

"My father said I was too big for my britches!"

Wide-awake.

Cats. All they do is eat and sleep. Truth is, they don't even do that well.

"When I can't sleep I don't count sheep I count my blessings."

"They were known as the tribe that didn't sleep."

"Sleep? No, I'm the anxiety fairy. How about a cuppa joe?"

Noah falls asleep by counting animal pairs.

"See how much better you look after a good nights sleep."

'Insomniacs Anonymous. Next meeting 3am,Tues.'

"This book put me to sleep—It was wonderful."

Insomniacs Anonymous - No Snoring

"Damn! I STILL can't sleep!"

Wheel of Sleep Misfortune

'Frank! Cut that out and get back to work!'

"But counting sheep makes me hungry."

"I was sleepless once, but it was in Omaha."

'I can't sleep, knowing that the increased cost of doing business is being passed on to me!'