Comedic Absurdity Collector Gifts

"You call this torment? This ain't nuthin'. You shoulda seen what this place was like back when I was your age."

Occu-Pie Mars

"Now, were those friends of your Gettys or Gottis?"

'You've got bats alright...now we'll just have to determine what kind.'

'I checked the database, Mrs. Nimitz. There's no such symptom.'

'What did one flea ask the other?' 'Shall we walk or take the dog?'

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

Banana Split...

Surf Casting

Frozen Turkey: "I hate to bother you on a holiday but I'm freezing out here. Do you have a heated enclosed space I could rest inside for four to five hours?"

At home with the Bones...one skeleton yells at the dog chewing his leg, 'now cut that out!'

Filet minion

Turtle Hat

'Wow, talk about shedding!'

"The Eggsorcist"

Snowmobull

'Big sale at the Dog Store. Buy 1, get 2 free.'

E-Baying @ The Moon

'Crushing empty beer cans is for wimps.'

"Oh no. Is that my ex?"

"This is a great school but it wasn't my first choice."

"We don't observe 'casual Fridays' here."

A trevor of trainspotters

'I reckon we need a new sweeper.'

"Whose the new guy?"

"Yes, if that towel weighs 25 lbs that would explain the reading."

What happened when the bond issues failed during the building of the Great Wall of China: The Great Picket Fence of China.

"How much did it cost to have your ears pierced?"

'I'm SECRET Santa, kid.'

The mysterious ancient stone figures of Keister Island.

An Extraordinary Pointer

"What do you mean, there's no room for my stuff?"

The embarrassment of mistaking a salon for a saloon.

'ANYTHING to get down the ruddy boozer!'