Comedian's Treasure Gifts

'My foursome doesn't understand me.'

Occu-Pie Mars

"Now, were those friends of your Gettys or Gottis?"

'You've got bats alright...now we'll just have to determine what kind.'

'What did one flea ask the other?' 'Shall we walk or take the dog?'

At home with the Bones...one skeleton yells at the dog chewing his leg, 'now cut that out!'

Frozen Turkey: "I hate to bother you on a holiday but I'm freezing out here. Do you have a heated enclosed space I could rest inside for four to five hours?"

Banana Split...

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

E-Baying @ The Moon

"The Eggsorcist"

Filet minion

'Big sale at the Dog Store. Buy 1, get 2 free.'

Snowmobull

Turtle Hat

"This is a great school but it wasn't my first choice."

"Oh no. Is that my ex?"

'Crushing empty beer cans is for wimps.'

A trevor of trainspotters

'I reckon we need a new sweeper.'

"Whose the new guy?"

"Yes, if that towel weighs 25 lbs that would explain the reading."

"Such a refreshing day...I've spent 18 hours between napping and comatose."

'Would you say your glass is half empty or half full?' 'Whose round is it?'

What happened when the bond issues failed during the building of the Great Wall of China: The Great Picket Fence of China.

'You had better eat those intestinal organs or there's no dessert for you!'

The embarrassment of mistaking a salon for a saloon.

Rent a Room With Hot Water

The mysterious ancient stone figures of Keister Island.

"How much did it cost to have your ears pierced?"

'I'm SECRET Santa, kid.'

'ANYTHING to get down the ruddy boozer!'

'I don't like to brag, but I'm the guy who coined the phrase, 'Honey, I'm Home'.'

An Extraordinary Pointer