Comedian On Fuel Economy Gifts

Ed on the price of gas

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

'Are we broke yet?'

'What can I do to create a climate where things get done?'

"We're off. We got a loan to fill er up!"

' Can I borrow change for the bus? With the cost of gas, I just can't justify buzzing around the city in that thing.'

Cars feeding at a gas tanker on the side of the road

' I think I'm evolving due to global warming.'

"We're not certain why they disappeared, but archeologists speculate that it may have had something to do with their size."

"It was $78 but that was when you started filling, it's $96 Now."

Gas Price Reads: Way Too Much.

Paper Bath Towels.

You need a bigger car/You need a smaller car.

"How much energy did you use to create me? I wasn't awakened with nuclear power, was I?..."

"It's from your Aunt Arctica. And if you like that gift, just wait... that's only the tip of the iceberg!"

'I promise to be the first politician to slow global warming by reducing the hot air coming out of Washigton!'

'But on the plus side, I felt better about owning an SUV as soon as I bought some oil stocks.'

"Clean your wallet, sir?"

New Uses For Excess Coal

Power corrupts & oil-shortage power corrupts absolutely

"Boy oh boy, how will you ever be able to pay your energy bills?"

"No, that's not a typo. This baby actually gets eight gallons per mile."

With Gas Prices Out of Sight, Santa Uses an Alternative Fuel Source.

Man in gas guzzler has a 'Go Green' registration.

Big Oil.

In the current economy, I'm afraid I'm going to have to reduce the size of your allowance, Axel. You haven't given me any money in eons. I meant the size of your IOUs.

'It's the world's tallest oil slick.'

"What's all the bickering about? This is extra environmentally friendly concrete that can be colonized by aquatic animals!"

So we hijacked a car, rammed an ATM and they got us when we ran out of money filling the car with petrol.

'...and, once we've solved the fuel consumption problem, it should become a world beater.'

''Son, you'd be a great African explorer...'' 'Gosh, I KNEW my dad doesn't really love me...'

'When you said you were getting me a hybrid for transportation, I had envisioned something else.'

'Make sure you get unleaded...'

'Exercise isn't supposed to be energy efficient!'

Just another day at a British Petroleum cafeteria.