Comedian On Fuel Economy Gifts

Ed on the price of gas

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

'Are we broke yet?'

'What can I do to create a climate where things get done?'

"We're off. We got a loan to fill er up!"

' Can I borrow change for the bus? With the cost of gas, I just can't justify buzzing around the city in that thing.'

Cars feeding at a gas tanker on the side of the road

' I think I'm evolving due to global warming.'

"It was $78 but that was when you started filling, it's $96 Now."

"We're not certain why they disappeared, but archeologists speculate that it may have had something to do with their size."

Gas Price Reads: Way Too Much.

Paper Bath Towels.

"How much energy did you use to create me? I wasn't awakened with nuclear power, was I?..."

You need a bigger car/You need a smaller car.

'I promise to be the first politician to slow global warming by reducing the hot air coming out of Washigton!'

"Clean your wallet, sir?"

'But on the plus side, I felt better about owning an SUV as soon as I bought some oil stocks.'

"Boy oh boy, how will you ever be able to pay your energy bills?"

"No, that's not a typo. This baby actually gets eight gallons per mile."

New Uses For Excess Coal

Power corrupts & oil-shortage power corrupts absolutely

Man in gas guzzler has a 'Go Green' registration.

Big Oil.

'Exercise isn't supposed to be energy efficient!'

'It's the world's tallest oil slick.'

So we hijacked a car, rammed an ATM and they got us when we ran out of money filling the car with petrol.

'When you said you were getting me a hybrid for transportation, I had envisioned something else.'

''Son, you'd be a great African explorer...'' 'Gosh, I KNEW my dad doesn't really love me...'

'...and, once we've solved the fuel consumption problem, it should become a world beater.'

'Make sure you get unleaded...'

"What's all the bickering about? This is extra environmentally friendly concrete that can be colonized by aquatic animals!"

'Fuel surcharge, kid.'