Combover Connoisseur Pillows

Beachcomber wears his hair in a combover fashion.

"This stool shall pass."

"Well, it's disappointing: Young Master seems to use the term 'best friend' for anybody who pays him the slightest attention..."

Atlas with the earth, says: 'So then I thought, Why not just roll the damn thing?'

Man frozen in portrait pose.

"Seat yourself. Grab a menu. Take any table. Hey, you know how to cook?"

Moliere

C Day Lewis.

"I was really impressed by the way you sent back the wine, though it did come in second to the waiter's uppercut."

'Now I'm going to lump all your nagging little worries into one big complex.'

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

"Thank you, gentlemen, and may the best networked man win."

"Just one question...how on earth do I get down?!"

Bleak House

Charles Dickens.

'...and to commemorate 20 loyal years to the company, this gold plated sundial.'

At Mary Higgins Clark's book club.

"We only shop brick and mortar because my husband likes to be disgruntled face-to-face when returning things."

"What kind of take-out are you in the mood for: overpriced or overrated?"

"The combover works even less now that you're using your back hair."

"This wasn't me, it was the bottle talking."

"I gave him 'the old one two' just like you told me to. But then he gave me 'the old three four'."

The Very Best of JOHN DOE

The 'I'm Almost Finished With War And Peace' Bookmark

'Your baseball card has more value than you do.'

When feud becomes best seller! Moby Dick vs Herman Melville!

Sergei Rachmaninov

"Sorry we're taking so long, but it's the first time he's ever seen a menu that didn't offer a happy meal."

"Waiter - this dish doesn't contain enough adjectives..!"

"That's a nice little book. It didn't waste too much of my time."

"We were unable to release his grip on the smart phone."

"I'm getting earthy overtones of guilt, with just a hint of sexual frustration."

Comb over club.

Hair loss comb.

'She's going to six different psychiatrists for her compulsive comparison shopping problem.'