Column Connoisseur Gifts

Doric, Ionic, and Ironic columns.

Reading my Critics

"Your usually vicious sarcasm is weak. Go pump some irony."

The writers group met every Tuesday for support and fellowship.

Atlas with the earth, says: 'So then I thought, Why not just roll the damn thing?'

S**t Threw a Goose

Man frozen in portrait pose.

Sculptor's chippings

Moliere

"I was really impressed by the way you sent back the wine, though it did come in second to the waiter's uppercut."

"I would never do a nude scene, unless the part really called for it."

Charles Dickens.

'Look on it as... constructive criticism.'

'Let me guess: you and everyone else?'

Bleak House

Barbed Pen

"The first three chapters read like they were written by some guy on a couch."

"Thank you, gentlemen, and may the best networked man win."

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

'...and to commemorate 20 loyal years to the company, this gold plated sundial.'

"It's too academic."

Film Critic

'How about if we choose teams based on who has the coolest stamp collection.'

'Now we come to what it would have been worth'

'... And that's all from this bulletin. But I'll be back with more bad news at six.'

The 'I'm Almost Finished With War And Peace' Bookmark

Bahrain F1

Comment on food.

Crazy Ideas