Colorful Educator Gifts

Uncle demonstrating chemical experiments to children

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

"Yes, Donald, I know you didn't expect a test today... that's why it's called a pop quiz!"

"I'm doing all I can to make the little things count."

"You were sent to the principal again for horsing around? That's so unfair!"

Ceiling Paint

Dog Anatomy from Memory.

"Shows you how much I know."

Benjamin Franklin

"No, I don't believe Michaelangelo ever did any bobbleheads."

'It actually stands for 'substitute' but it keeps the children in line.'

"Fear not, Miss Hathaway. Just go home and listen to a cd of howling wolves or screeching monkeys and by Monday you'll be ready for your 3rd grade class."

People of Courage

"I give all new teachers the same advice. First you have to get the attention of the class. Can you quack like a duck or juggle two books in the air?"

'Today's lesson - how to slam a door.'

Lack History Month

'Do you have to explain nutrition with a pie chart?'

"The big boot Italy ain't gonna kick the small shoe Sicily no more, capiche?"

Student about substitute teacher that is a sub sandwich: 'We got a good lookin' sub today.'

'Today in Tactile Effusions Class we are going to pop the bubbles in this packing material.'

'Sir, one question... When will we know if we've run-out of invisible ink?'

"Our curriculum focusses less on rote memorization and more on putzing around."

'Play among yourselves while I deal with my stage fright.'

"How do we know this isn't a ponzi scheme?"

'This is great - what an idea! I can do a unit on gravity and the laws of motion for science class!'

"I will now open the floor to questions. Bye bye!"

'I won't be coming in again - my dad's set up a free school in his shed.'

School for the Blind and School for the Inattentive.

"I had a very trying day. I tried annoying my teacher, I tried annoying the principal..."

'The artist inside me struggling to get out is starting to take over my classroom!'