Crafty Educator Gifts

'Your son William has a rare form of dyslexia.'

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

'Home Schooling'

"It's a mobile."

'Your report card grades are poor. Maybe you should stop building model airplanes. The glue is getting to you.'

'It's another cookery programme but It's aimed at children.'

Girl on a giant pair of scissors.

Homeschooling

'Radiology confirms that, like many other teachers of English, you do have a book in you.'

"You were sent to the principal again for horsing around? That's so unfair!"

Dog Anatomy from Memory.

Thoughts on Education.

Benjamin Franklin

"No, I don't believe Michaelangelo ever did any bobbleheads."

'And if you run out of macaroni Cheerios!!'

'Watch this! Open up a straw by scrunching up its wrapper! Now put a drop of water on that wrinkly paper tube! Check it out! It wiggles and grows!'

"Fear not, Miss Hathaway. Just go home and listen to a cd of howling wolves or screeching monkeys and by Monday you'll be ready for your 3rd grade class."

"I think he's going to be a bus driver - he loves cutting things up."

The college of my choice.

"I give all new teachers the same advice. First you have to get the attention of the class. Can you quack like a duck or juggle two books in the air?"

'Today's lesson - how to slam a door.'

'Today in Tactile Effusions Class we are going to pop the bubbles in this packing material.'

Lack History Month

'Do you have to explain nutrition with a pie chart?'

"The big boot Italy ain't gonna kick the small shoe Sicily no more, capiche?"

Student about substitute teacher that is a sub sandwich: 'We got a good lookin' sub today.'

Keep students on their toes...

'Sir, one question... When will we know if we've run-out of invisible ink?'

"Our curriculum focusses less on rote memorization and more on putzing around."

'Play among yourselves while I deal with my stage fright.'

'I'm experimenting with right brain math.'

"How do we know this isn't a ponzi scheme?"

Did you know you move your lips when you read?

How teachers decide what school supplies kids need to buy.

"I will now open the floor to questions. Bye bye!"