Color Matching T-Shirts

A man walks into a modern art museum, where a painting matches his shirt.

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

Tartan Suit.

"My ophthalmologist says it'll take a few days for my pink eye medicine to kick in, so I figure I might as well color-coordinate in the meantime."

"Ok, Ok, let's go and check: I have my pantone colour chart. We can work out if the grass really is greener on the other side. . ."

battered artist has painted picture of falling bomb.

'What did I say about finishing your vegetables, Billy?'

"I'd love to go out with you. Do I have to have time to change."

"My scoop-back tank comes in Mango, Morning Glory, and Scallion. Don's Maori surfers are available in Iris, Mustard, and Prawn."

What every man thinks to himself when he puts on a pink shirt.

Artist on the Beach

'You called me out of the blue... Cobalt, ultramarine, prussian, cerulean or phthalocyanine?'

'Vanity, thy name is Maple.'

'How many blummin' shades of black ARE there?'

'I wish you wouldn't bring your work home with you!'

"Have ye seen a whale that matches this swatch?"

Painter's Duel.

Colours

Trash-talkin' artists

'You should never wear a green parrot with a blue suit.'

I'm color blind, please help.

"I wouldn't mind, but I only topped the bloomin' thing up last week!"

'Men will never understand.'

"I'm ahead of my time."

Artistic license.

Fashion Nursery School

Using teamwork to paint a lamppost.

'Daddy, why is that man wearing a blank T-shirt?'

"Painted like this, finding furniture to match at least one colour should be simple!"

Wearing all black

"Ok, let's sneak up on Mr. Canvas and see if we can make a good impression."

"These are my true colors and I don't care who know it!"

Jackson Pollock's early paint-by-numbers period.

Woman shops while man sets up noose. "Do I go with bright white, deep white...."

'I'm looking for a business suit, in a color that will let me blend in.'