Color-coded Cruiser T-Shirts

'Can we do a quick respray to match her super new outfit?'

'3 Second Loading Zone.'

Mr. Punch in Venice

The Slug Replaces the Cheetah as the Fastest Animal on Earth.

'Do you know the way to San Jose without breaking into a Bacharach number?'

Mountain bikes and molehill bikes.

'It's St Patrick's Day...I thought you called this car your lucky charm??!'

'I was just beginning to think about my portfolio. Now you're telling me to rethink it.'

"How long have you felt like a three-masted schooner?"

"Balance is essential, Ray. For example, this week, my life is purpost-driven, and I'll follow that with seven days of aimless drifting!"

"I'm looking for a car with backseat performance."

Fighting Gondoliers.

Playboy has rigged his car with a loveseat

Bargeman on a canal boat.

"Over the river and through a ridiculous detour that has us in the middle of who-knows-where, to Grandfather’s house we go!"

'I realize you love my boat, but you've been on it for nearly a month now. Do me a favor and go home.'

'My wife insisted I stop and ask someone for directions. Could you just pretend you're giving them to me?'

Sports car.

Now Entering Wyoming (or one of those other rectangular states that are out west someplace).

Mount Rushmore waves back to tourists.

'It's very nice, but it's not really me. Do you have any of those little round, hollow, plastic balls?'

Employee Parking. The only way my boss practices "top-down" management is by driving a convertible.

Slow, merge left, resume speed, stop, stay, sit, roll over, good boy!

"We didn't know you had a rush hour."

"With my handicap I can park just about anywhere I want to!"

Ignore him he's just showing off

'I didn't always want to be a gondolier. My first love was the Church.'

"Amsterdam? Boy, am I lost!"

"Whoops! We have pot holes here, too."

Heart of America or Bypass

'It IS an interesting hat isn't it? I made it from the skin of the last dog that fouled my mooring ropes!'

Marriage Guidance / Travel Agent

Witch with a mobile home on her broomstick.

'Stop complaining. We can't afford a car with airbags.'

'What's your fish finder say?'