Comedy Cruiser T-Shirts

Noah's Ark on a cruise ship.

Mountain bikes and molehill bikes.

'That strange smell, George.. is FRESH AIR!'

"Nobody listens to me complain quite like you do."

Tom Cruise

"How long have you felt like a three-masted schooner?"

"Balance is essential, Ray. For example, this week, my life is purpost-driven, and I'll follow that with seven days of aimless drifting!"

"I'm looking for a car with backseat performance."

Spinner luggage is fast becoming the city walker's, walking companion of choice. There's no stopping, no mess, nor butt sniffing, with the added bonus that it comes with you when you go on holidays. . ."

'I've never eaten here. I come for the broadband.'

'I realize you love my boat, but you've been on it for nearly a month now. Do me a favor and go home.'

Playboy has rigged his car with a loveseat

'My wife insisted I stop and ask someone for directions. Could you just pretend you're giving them to me?'

'Can we do a quick respray to match her super new outfit?'

"It used to just be flowers but now I also do subpoenas."

Heart of America or Bypass

'Top dog or not, you gotta slow down.'

'University tenure, now there's a sweet gig.'

"This one should be a pushover. Agent Walt did the ground work years ago."

'I'll bet you fifty dollars that you can't stop gambling' Colour

'The carnival has a company car.'

Riding with your jacket open in summer is an ideal way to collect wasps,

"After you build your lowrider, we're gonna look cool cruising the boulevard! When did you get your driver's license?"

"Yeah, I'm sure you feel pretty cool on a car ride with your master, but me, I ride with my master on his Harley. . ."

"You can tell me. They're all knock-offs...RIGHT?"

"Sorry... But I'm afraid this is a couples only cruise!"

'It was nothing personal, Joe. I merely asked whether a card was missing.'

'Keno?...Keno?'

'Why open a savings account? Look at all that change in the ashtray.'

You do know the skateboard was invented by the devil.

Luck Accounted For

"I told you to part your hair in the middle."

A fruit machine player is surprised to win real fruit.

I've noticed you've stopped saying 'we.'