Chic Cruiser T-Shirts

"You can tell me. They're all knock-offs...RIGHT?"

The Slug Replaces the Cheetah as the Fastest Animal on Earth.

Mountain bikes and molehill bikes.

'It's St Patrick's Day...I thought you called this car your lucky charm??!'

"Nobody listens to me complain quite like you do."

Rollerblader wears a cast and has wheels on crutches

Bio Fuels.

"How long have you felt like a three-masted schooner?"

"Balance is essential, Ray. For example, this week, my life is purpost-driven, and I'll follow that with seven days of aimless drifting!"

"I'm looking for a car with backseat performance."

Spinner luggage is fast becoming the city walker's, walking companion of choice. There's no stopping, no mess, nor butt sniffing, with the added bonus that it comes with you when you go on holidays. . ."

'I've never eaten here. I come for the broadband.'

'I realize you love my boat, but you've been on it for nearly a month now. Do me a favor and go home.'

Playboy has rigged his car with a loveseat

"Over the river and through a ridiculous detour that has us in the middle of who-knows-where, to Grandfather’s house we go!"

'My wife insisted I stop and ask someone for directions. Could you just pretend you're giving them to me?'

Sports car.

Now Entering Wyoming (or one of those other rectangular states that are out west someplace).

Mount Rushmore waves back to tourists.

'Can we do a quick respray to match her super new outfit?'

Slow, merge left, resume speed, stop, stay, sit, roll over, good boy!

'It's very nice, but it's not really me. Do you have any of those little round, hollow, plastic balls?'

'Top dog or not, you gotta slow down.'

"Imagine yourself: driving up the coast, the top down, tears streaming down your face because your wife had no choice but to kick you out, this time for good."

Heart of America or Bypass

'Stop complaining. We can't afford a car with airbags.'

'What's your fish finder say?'

Caution: Stuff and things next 4 miles

'How was your ski trip?'

Early Learning - Stabilizers for Roller blades

'I know, I know, you told me not to buy a convertible!'

Noah's Ark on a cruise ship.