Colonial Nostalgia Gifts

'If they had it to do it all over again' 'We'll sell you Manhattan Island for $24 worth of trinkets. However, the sales tax will be $24 trillion.'

"Don't be embarrassed. Most heroic archetypes your age have lost the ability to swashbuckle."

baby sweetcorn...

"That's her - that's the girl who broke into our house! But her hair was 'goldier'."

"That's not you talking, Justin, that's the sugar talking."

Paul Ree

'He's maturing early.'

"Dammit, Pooh - don't let the heffalumps win!"

Dog helps girl jumprope with wagging tail affixed to rope.

'Is this one of those deals where the names have been changed to protect the innocent?'

The signing of Ben Franklin's non-disclosure agreement.

'I've had the place gob-stopper-dashed.'

Colonial Larrysburg.

'Look Daddy: I'm wearing Mummy's shoes...'

Serious Putty

'Kiddie school is teaching about sharing; and someone shared their cold with Jennie,'

Science Dept...Entomology: 'Too bad humans don't spend their teen years in pupa like insects.'

'We're playing I'm a mummy with lots of different daddies!'

'Gee you're lucky! I don't think the Tooth-Fairy will ever bring me anything...'

"We're playing doctor and I need 50 cents for my co-pay."

'Want a mudpie? It's organic!'

Monsters looking for a new bed to move under.

'Want to swap imaginary playmates?'

"Dinosaurs are cool!"

Fat Kid 14- Gets re-animated

'No fair. Someone ate the popsicle off the stick.'

'How was I to know that my invisible friend was so rambunctious?'

Milk sideburns

Like many kids, Bobby had an imaginary friend. Unfortunately for Bobby, he was a critic.

Fade to black...

"At least the anti-public education folks haven't started to try to dictate what we can have for lunch."

"My paper is on Paul Revere's famous ride form the standpoint of media impact across select stages of the colonial decision-making process."

The Music Box

'Mummy, Daddy, this is Dylan. Dylan's ambition is to make conkers a recognized Olympic sport.'