Colloquialism Collector Gifts

"And almighty God said to Adam, 'Get a room already will ya!'" "Little known fact from the Book of Genesis."

Sick Society

'Rabbi, that talk was totally sick! You pwned it man!'

'That's like, so random!' (teenager reading about the laws of chance)

"Actually, it is a bad time — I’m rushing to get the kids out of the oven."

"I got a swiss army hook!"

Another day in the Splenda mines

"We owe our success to teamwork. Without it we could never have grasped at so many straws."

Management Reshuffle

The New World Order

'I'm very worried that if we fail to introduce rigid protocols to maximise client gratification indices within acceptable costbenefit parameters to ensure enhanced margins...then we'll have missed the whole point of what Christmas is about!!!'

Wildlife A-Z: 'Where the heck are zebras?'

"To 'click to enter' or not to 'click to enter'… that is the question."

"My goodness, no! Grandfather would never, ever let us near this!!"

'He wants to hear the siren voices of the consultants.'

'Sometimes, I'm like... wow! And then, I'm like... whoa! And then, I'm like... damn!'

"If you want my opinion you're damned if you do and damned if you don't."

An old gentleman speaking with a shoeblack at a train station

'It even tells time in metric minutes.'

Man tried to unload a ship in a bottle.

"Did you hear? It turns out old power cords are really valuable! Good things Dad kept them!"

A mummy begs for change in front of the pyramids.

"Yeah, I'm out on bail: The judge laughed when he said I was not a flight risk..."

In the House of Picasso, the Cat: "You beast, you've eaten all the first class stamps again," Madame accuses Timothy.

'The day has come.'

Victorian Secret

'Jack and the Beanie stock'

"Take us to your feeder."

"Waiter - there's no fly in my soup!"

"Hi honey, do we need anything for the junk drawer?"

"I knew you was mad when you tried to sell me to them "American Pickers" fellers."

"Congratulations for selling them the whole ball of wax."

'You can lead a horse to water, Ezra, but you can't...?'

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, Doctor scared by apples,

Things You Say When You Are Officially Old - Volume # 2