Colloquial Collector Gifts

"He's a man of his word, and that word is 'dude.'"

"Actually, it is a bad time — I’m rushing to get the kids out of the oven."

Snowmen Around The World...

"I got a swiss army hook!"

"And almighty God said to Adam, 'Get a room already will ya!'" "Little known fact from the Book of Genesis."

"We owe our success to teamwork. Without it we could never have grasped at so many straws."

'We'll take two sets, for upstairs and downstairs.'

Posh Easter Egg

'I'm very worried that if we fail to introduce rigid protocols to maximise client gratification indices within acceptable costbenefit parameters to ensure enhanced margins...then we'll have missed the whole point of what Christmas is about!!!'

"My goodness, no! Grandfather would never, ever let us near this!!"

'He wants to hear the siren voices of the consultants.'

'Sometimes, I'm like... wow! And then, I'm like... whoa! And then, I'm like... damn!'

"Did you hear? It turns out old power cords are really valuable! Good things Dad kept them!"

Over-reaction Man.

In the House of Picasso, the Cat: "You beast, you've eaten all the first class stamps again," Madame accuses Timothy.

A mummy begs for change in front of the pyramids.

'It even tells time in metric minutes.'

An old gentleman speaking with a shoeblack at a train station

Man tried to unload a ship in a bottle.

Pre-Bay

Victorian Secret

"I'll take it."

'Jack and the Beanie stock'

I brake for anything discarded that I can bring to the antiques roadshow.

"Hi honey, do we need anything for the junk drawer?"

"I knew you was mad when you tried to sell me to them "American Pickers" fellers."

'How about if we choose teams based on who has the coolest stamp collection.'

'Now we come to what it would have been worth'

"I like this one. Do you think it will look good when knocked from the table to the floor?"

'You can lead a horse to water, Ezra, but you can't...?'

The Priceless Ming Vase Relays.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, Doctor scared by apples,

' I hear she was quite the collector...'

'That's like, so random!' (teenager reading about the laws of chance)

Things You Say When You Are Officially Old - Volume # 2