College Reunion Gifts

Yale,Yale,Yale,Yale,Kale

'I missed my roommate so I went out and got this spray called, 'Never Showers,' and now it's like she never left.'

"It was a surprise. The college alumni solicitation letters never stop, even here!"

A Student Loan Offer You Can't Refuse

'We have reason to believe you have been binge drinking and urinating in the area'

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

Crappy hour.

'Here's to vague college memories that keep 3 old guys without much in common anymore sharing a drink once a year.'

"Political Science... that's in the Department of Performing Arts."

Bro of Frankenstein

'I'm always pleased to meet my daughters college friends Alan. I hear you're studying alternative medicine? Reiki or acupuncture?'

College game crowd: 'WE WON',,,'and that somehow makes you superior'

'I'm on the short degree course... hell of a lot to pack into one year!'

Monkey Business College

Cambridge dons eat a banquet outside to prove they only get one chicken each.

'You must have been wearing your beer googles.'

'Interesting specialist subjects.'

Man, Lemont … how long's it been? Twenty years? Just about. You still working at Pigville Pork Burgers? Nah … I got a job as the Candorville Chronicles White House correspondent. Then I went on to found Candorville.com, the internet's seventh largest source for news and opinion. Oh. That's cool. That's cool. How do you not know this? We're Facebook friends. I post links to my articles every day. We were roommates all through college, and you don't even read my updates? Facebook's for reading yo

Community College. History's a lot more fun if you think of it as gossip.

Brett Beer: It's the best beer to ever make me ralph. And I've ralphed a lot.

"Would you like to room together again next term?"

"I love college."

"Oh, no - Karen baked a cake so dense that not even light can escape."

"I'm sorry, but you didn't recognize me as the Messiah when I had braces and glasses."

"Hey guys - wrote a new song! It's called 'I suggested Paris.' And a' one, two three..."

'Where Are They Now?'

Big Fish Little Fish Cardboard Box.

The Janitor at the Harvard University Alumni Reunion is one of the Gang.

'Remember me, Fred? I sat next to you in class and you said I'd never amount to anything.'

'Yes I think we did go to school together. Wasn't you the old headmistress?'

'For goodness sake, will we ever have a nice picnic without family and friends turning up uninvited?'

'If you're worried what to say you do for a living at your reunion, just tell them you recently bought a large stake in a local brewery.'

I conduct comprehensive surveys - I ask my girlfriend.

Original punks go to reunion

'You talk about her so much. Why don't you invite that Alma Mater of yours to dinner sometime?'