College Peer Gifts

"Yes, Jane Lyons, sitting next to Katy Jones, class of 2018, it is important for a writer to know her audience."

Wally Begins research for his thesis entitled "who's a good dog?"

"Women Supporting Women!"

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

Continuing education.

Math 101, for those who can only count to 100.

'I started out as a teacher's pet, and then it kind of snowballed.'

'I hope I run out of money before I flunk out.'

"One year closer to college!"

'Don't worry. No one else knows what they are doing either.'

"I have a recurring nightmare that I've taken a test, and the professor won't give me an 'A'."

"Sorry, kid. No off-campus drinking until you're twenty-one."

"So, what do you do for play?"

"I want a top education, but don't milk me dry with school fees."

"That's Brian Eggleston, de facto leader of the playground intelligentsia."

'Come on, I dare you: I say you can't drink a whole dew drop...'

"It started with a simple case of peer-review."

"Someday, Sweetheart, you’ll look back on this day and think to yourself, ‘Covid ruined my college experience.’"

Cats are under tremendous peer pressure to remain useless.

'Of course, I'm argumentative.. I'm PRE-LAW, for goodness sake!'

Rita's PhD defense wasn't going well."

Big Rock University. Guidance Counselor. I'd like to switch my major from hunting to gathering!

"Being the smartest girl in third grade is going to Melinda's head."

"And in the category of 'The Most Amazing Comeback from an Academic Nosedive,' the winner is..."

Trust

'You have failed on all counts...'

Yale makes better lock than rival Harvard.

"My papie says I'm going to be the first in my family to go to college!"

"My parents are going to pay for my education but I'm on my own for any attorney's fees."

What are you looking for in a college? A strong environmental program. Ok. Pick 4 or 5 we could visit. I've got 3 days for the trip. There's one in Ohio. Can do. One in Maine, Iowa and California. You need a good geography program. Here's another one. Where's St. Paul?

Man, Lemont … how long's it been? Twenty years? Just about. You still working at Pigville Pork Burgers? Nah … I got a job as the Candorville Chronicles White House correspondent. Then I went on to found Candorville.com, the internet's seventh largest source for news and opinion. Oh. That's cool. That's cool. How do you not know this? We're Facebook friends. I post links to my articles every day. We were roommates all through college, and you don't even read my updates? Facebook's for reading yo

'I wanted to ask you about life-experience credit.'

'Does it matter what answer I put down? After all, this is Liberal Arts.'

'I've decided to put off college, and hitchhike around the cat.'

"If we learned anything in law school, we learned that you can never have enough wiggle room."