College Life Rememberer Gifts

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

Santa does a keg stand.

'The Great Depression? Didn't they have Prozac then?'

The farm-raised catfish goes to college

The Spring Break Venus

'Trevor, it's some gentlemen to see you about your student loan.'

'It was your typical student flat: dirty dishes, broken furniture, grubby carpet and cracks in the walls'

"I found my old college classmates and my college uncovered my old tuition loans!"

"Room, board, books, and tuition--I draw the line at corkage fees."

The life of a professor is great- it's either publish or PARIS!'

"Enjoy your youth. Soon you'll be an old cynic like me with nothing worth barking at."

Canine Frat Parties

'Before you look at that, you should know I found an old report card of yours in the attic.'

"Cool, what's it say?"

"I went to my college class reunion. Everyone else is unemployed."

Graduation.

"Hey, while you guys have that laser thingy out, how about removing that tattoo? Don't ask, it was a college thing."

'Don't let her charm you. When we were in the lunch room, I saw her eating veggies.'

"School is a lot like life. It's hours and hours of boredom...interrupted by the occasional moment of panic."

"Well Johnson, you haven't changed a bit."

'Well, if it isn't Frank Logan! I hear you did pretty well for yourself.'

'I'm afraid all those goldfish you swallowed back in college have finally caught up with you.'

"How real is your fake ID?"

"It's the stress of freshman year, sir."

'My school reunion is in three days. Any suggestions on how I can at least appear to have achieved greatness by then?'

"Congratulations, keep moving, please. Congratulations, keep moving, please. Congratulations..."