Student Life Story Collector Gifts

'Good girl, Carol - now hands up all those who have lost their pens.'

'Come on Jill, they say the water's well good.'

'I'm going to have to give up drinking and drugs when I leave uni - to pay off my bank loan.'

"Never mind rehearsing for your first year at Uni. Get up now!"

"I need a gap year."

"Thank you for making my decision to fire you, that much easier."

'I don't remember ever having a good memory.'

''Masterpiece Theater' will not be seen tonight, so that we may bring you 'Slushpile Showplace'....'

Who's Dead

'Tom's always been the black sheep of the family.'

"Term paper?! How do we do that? We haven't done a term paper all year!"

Master Humphrey's visionary friends

"I've seen a lot in my time, Ted, but it was always from the cheap seats."

Archeology 101.

School girl taking an exam labelled OMG Level.

"Back in my day there weren't any delivery trucks, distribution centers and fancy computers! We just hopped door-to-door until our feet bled!"

"I know about the tooth fairy, but I feel a bit young to be selling off my body parts!"

' You shouldn't believe everything you read in the fairy stories.'

"Grandpa! You have to let me put those under my pillow!"

Excess Baggage: As soon as you pick a vacation destination, people who have never been there start to tell you horror stories about the place.

"I can't believe it's another day closer to the end of school. This is the saddest time of the year. At least until tomorrow...then that will be the saddest time of the year."

"Boy, will I be glad when the weekend gets here!"

"It's a brovella about my life in the frat. But if it's longer than two hundred pages it becomes a brahvel."

'I'm sorry but we don't have athletic scholarships for video games.'

The Medical Student

"I graduated summa cum laude caffeine-free, I'll have you know."

"School is loverly this time of year."

"Back when we were in college, and occasionally sleeping together, I never thought I'd be here, toasting you at your wedding to a woman."

I've heard that you've beaten the Hare, so I've come to challenge you...

"The dish and the spoon? Huh. I did not see that coming."

"Baldo, we all learn from our mistakes. When I played baseball, a fly ball popped up right above me. If I caught it, we'd win...if I dropped it, we'd lose."

"She was this tall with curly blonde hair Officer: She ate our porridge and broke our furniture..."

Even medical students sometimes have to repeat a year.

Son, when I went to school, I trudged for years knee-deep in student loans!

Homeless man's sign: 'Will sell book & movie rights to the story of my downfall for a cool million.'