College Hunting Gifts

How were the academic departments on the campuses you visited? Dad!!! Stop stressing me!! College hunting is hard enough without you prying into every detail of my life! Arrghh!! How were the drama departments?

'Our admission policy is now simplicity itself. If you have the tuition, you're in.'

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

Continuing education.

Math 101, for those who can only count to 100.

"One year closer to college!"

'I hope I run out of money before I flunk out.'

'I started out as a teacher's pet, and then it kind of snowballed.'

"College basketball recruiters are after him."

"I want a top education, but don't milk me dry with school fees."

"Someday, Sweetheart, you’ll look back on this day and think to yourself, ‘Covid ruined my college experience.’"

'Of course, I'm argumentative.. I'm PRE-LAW, for goodness sake!'

'This scholarship application is great. You must have received an A in creative writing.'

Rita's PhD defense wasn't going well."

The team video didn't spotlight my talents. I've hired my own film crew. They'll showcase my skills so college recruiters can see my strengths. Wow! How can the director pack so much into one little video? Great point! Daddy? Tell Steven Spielberg we're going feature length. Nice save!

"And in the category of 'The Most Amazing Comeback from an Academic Nosedive,' the winner is..."

Trust

"Hey, there's Sara, padding her college-entrance résumé!"

'You have failed on all counts...'

"My papie says I'm going to be the first in my family to go to college!"

"Where am I going to college? I thought this was college."

Yahoo! What's that about? She got into the college of her choice. Which college is it? Not sure. She chose to apply to 37. West Fester High School.

"My parents are going to pay for my education but I'm on my own for any attorney's fees."

What are you looking for in a college? A strong environmental program. Ok. Pick 4 or 5 we could visit. I've got 3 days for the trip. There's one in Ohio. Can do. One in Maine, Iowa and California. You need a good geography program. Here's another one. Where's St. Paul?

'It's my application to Harvard...'

Treadway college - A little knowledge, a lot of tuition.

'I wanted to ask you about life-experience credit.'

'Does it matter what answer I put down? After all, this is Liberal Arts.'

'I've decided to put off college, and hitchhike around the cat.'

"If we learned anything in law school, we learned that you can never have enough wiggle room."

'Congratulations! And please give your parents this receipt for $148 thousand.'

Scenes we'd most like to see...

'OKAY, okay Sandra, I'll PAY for your University course. But it BETTER NOT cost me an arm and a leg!...'

State U. He procrastinated and is now trying to do all the work for his middle English literature class in a couple of days. "Canterburied," is he?!

'Of course creative writing is important. You want to write home for money when you go away to college,don't you?'