College Life Seeker Gifts

Yale,Yale,Yale,Yale,Kale

"I want a top education, but don't milk me dry with school fees."

I'm getting ready to apply for college. Do you have a list of party schools?

Santa does a keg stand.

"I think I gained weight because of the heavy reading Mr. Klacken assigns us."

Big Rock University. Guidance Counselor. I'd like to switch my major from hunting to gathering!

Card Reader in PC Supplies Store.

"My papie says I'm going to be the first in my family to go to college!"

'I wish his guidance counselor spent more time on college plans and less time suggesting names for his band.'

What are you looking for in a college? A strong environmental program. Ok. Pick 4 or 5 we could visit. I've got 3 days for the trip. There's one in Ohio. Can do. One in Maine, Iowa and California. You need a good geography program. Here's another one. Where's St. Paul?

"I can't really tell you the future but I'll tell you what's trending on Twitter."

"Class, this is Mr. Elzondo. He's going to talk about going to college."

Ed totally blows the final portion of his Chameleon Aptitude test.

Morton's pride was understandable. He was the first in the Pinhead Family to ever graduate.

'My crystal ball is in the shop. Pick a fortune cookie.'

Amateur Palmist

'And here's my collection of stock in DiscoCorp... or as I call it, your college fund.'

'Forget about me - what can you tell me about the new CEO coming on board?'

'That's all there is in my college fund? That won't even buy the beer!'

The Spring Break Venus

Wow. You're amazing!

The farm-raised catfish goes to college

'Sometimes I think about getting away from all this and get a job as a cab driver in New York city...'

'Trevor, it's some gentlemen to see you about your student loan.'

'It was your typical student flat: dirty dishes, broken furniture, grubby carpet and cracks in the walls'

Here's the college for me! It's totally green. Let's see. I though you wanted warm weather. Look at the brochure. There's no snow in any of the pictures. The school is in Minnesota. Wow! Early signs of global warming. Who knew it hit college brochures first?

Palm Reader...

Your Winning Lottery Numbers Told: 'If they are really what you say - how come you can only afford a tent?'

Cat and the Eight Ball.

"I'll be right back."

Horoscope - Look out for Large Windfall (Man crushed by giant apple).

'I'm working on a ten year degree. Four years in school, and six years to pay off my student loans.'

School girl taking an exam labelled OMG Level.

'Well, Gosh...! How did you know I was an incoming freshman...?'

'If you aren't careful, son, you'll be mathematically eliminated from all of the Ivy League schools.'