College-educated Person Gifts

Continuing education.

Math 101, for those who can only count to 100.

'I started out as a teacher's pet, and then it kind of snowballed.'

'I hope I run out of money before I flunk out.'

"One year closer to college!"

"My homework ate my dog."

'The sound of one hand clapping.'

"I want a top education, but don't milk me dry with school fees."

'The Great Depression? Didn't they have Prozac then?'

"Someday, Sweetheart, you’ll look back on this day and think to yourself, ‘Covid ruined my college experience.’"

"Don't tell me, first time away from home, right?"

'Of course, I'm argumentative.. I'm PRE-LAW, for goodness sake!'

'This scholarship application is great. You must have received an A in creative writing.'

"My parents said that until I find a job and move out they will not recognize me as a sentient being."

Rita's PhD defense wasn't going well."

"And in the category of 'The Most Amazing Comeback from an Academic Nosedive,' the winner is..."

Trust

"Hey, there's Sara, padding her college-entrance résumé!"

'You have failed on all counts...'

"My papie says I'm going to be the first in my family to go to college!"

"I'd like to spend a year abroad before getting tied to quill and parchment."

"My parents are going to pay for my education but I'm on my own for any attorney's fees."

"Be afraid to try new things!"

"I'm taking 'moving back in with the parents' studies."

"The answer you seek can be found in the syllabus."

The Graveyard of Past Deadlines

Treadway college - A little knowledge, a lot of tuition.

'I wanted to ask you about life-experience credit.'

'I've decided to put off college, and hitchhike around the cat.'

'Does it matter what answer I put down? After all, this is Liberal Arts.'

Victor Frankenstein's Dream: 'This should definitely get me extra credit in my anatomy class.'

"If we learned anything in law school, we learned that you can never have enough wiggle room."