Collector Of Rings Pillows

'Still adding to your collection, Sir?'

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

'This is the only part of my old Army uniform that still fits.'

"You're on a what?!"

Cat Tie

'My luck, I buy a bottle of wine from 450 B.C. and it's still five years from reaching maturity.'

"But don't let my wacky tie fool you. We actually take business very seriously around here."

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

Thank you bubbles

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

Stuff: You Don't Really Need But Still Don't Have.

'We would like to buy three rings... Engagement, wedding and teething!'

"Blast, you've cleaned me out again!" Grey squirrels out competing red squirrel for food.

His cubicle had come to be known as 'Teddy Bear Heaven'.

"Just toot my horn and I'll be there."

Philosopher trading cards.

The Card Flinger

Posh Easter Egg

'I don't think I've ever heard of the Geezer Scouts or Geezer Scout cookies.'

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

'Who cares what she thinks? Grow a pair and buy the damn thing.'

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

'This scent goes well with a diamond necklace.'

"I'm a stay-at-work dad."

Greeting card section: 'thank you' and 'you're welcome'.

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

'It's my wedding ring: My wife insists I wear it here to stop me flirting with other females...'

"Yeah, this many ways to contact her if I'm lost might be overkill."

Do you like my bling?

A man trying to decide which tie he should put on.

"Fetch, Ernie, fetch!"

Card shark

Operation Father's Day