Collector Of Rings T-Shirts

'Still adding to your collection, Sir?'

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

'Teenagers!'

'This is the only part of my old Army uniform that still fits.'

"You're on a what?!"

"But don't let my wacky tie fool you. We actually take business very seriously around here."

Cat Tie

Professor Wiles grows insufferable.

'My luck, I buy a bottle of wine from 450 B.C. and it's still five years from reaching maturity.'

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

Stuff: You Don't Really Need But Still Don't Have.

Thank you bubbles

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

"My owner is teaching me to think before barking, which gave Federal Express plenty of time to clobber me."

'We would like to buy three rings... Engagement, wedding and teething!'

His cubicle had come to be known as 'Teddy Bear Heaven'.

"Just toot my horn and I'll be there."

"Blast, you've cleaned me out again!" Grey squirrels out competing red squirrel for food.

Philosopher trading cards.

The Card Flinger

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

Posh Easter Egg

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

'Who cares what she thinks? Grow a pair and buy the damn thing.'

'I don't think I've ever heard of the Geezer Scouts or Geezer Scout cookies.'

"Yeah, this many ways to contact her if I'm lost might be overkill."

Greeting card section: 'thank you' and 'you're welcome'.

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

'It's my wedding ring: My wife insists I wear it here to stop me flirting with other females...'

'This scent goes well with a diamond necklace.'

Do you like my bling?

"I'm a stay-at-work dad."

A man trying to decide which tie he should put on.

"Fetch, Ernie, fetch!"

"It's a flip phone. I guess we can document this as an ancient, archaeological discovery."