Collector Kingpin T-Shirts

'Have you been buying useless football memorabilia off the internet again?'

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

Lemonade Inc.

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

'It's my company, I'll decide whether I want to go to the partner's meeting or not.'

The Complete Book of Baby Names. Oooh, what do you think of 110101110110? Isn't that cute?

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

You gotta hand it to the old man, he still knows how to motivate!

His cubicle had come to be known as 'Teddy Bear Heaven'.

'You can't put him out to pasture - he owns the pasture!'

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

'Sure, we pay them for protection but there are unexpected bonuses: nobody can tenderise veel like Luigi or slice beef as fine as Vinny.'

Mr. Blok goes bowling.

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

Will work for Food Network.

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

"If they don't show up soon I'll have to admit I forgot to invite them."

'I think it's past its sell-by date.'

"Too much club."

"Fetch, Ernie, fetch!"

"Hey, Dad, guess what? My Honus Wagner baseball card is worth $2.1 million!"

"I'm sorry, I can't assist with this request."

"It's a flip phone. I guess we can document this as an ancient, archaeological discovery."

"I wonder what this was for."

'How old is this vase?'

'...but the good new is your old Enron stock has become a high-priced collectible!'

"I'm sure you want little Jimmy to have a complete set of 'Muscular Heroes of the Cosmos,' now, don't you, Mr. Bennett?"

"Hmm interesting Hallmark..."

"I never expected you to pay through the nose."

'Your entire library consists of nothing but tabloids bound in Corinthian leather?'

'Stamp auction' WW2 Victory stamps on two fingers

Pawnshop: Genuine Fake Watches.

'Building Inspectors During Their Off Hours.'

'Please! Take these and let my buddy go!!'

'My God, you're right - they are all back issues of TV guide.'