Collecting Talismans T-Shirts

"Think back! Where is the last place you remember having your mojo?"

"You're on a what?!"

'My luck, I buy a bottle of wine from 450 B.C. and it's still five years from reaching maturity.'

A golden Big Boy holding a plate of poop

"Oh no I left my bagpipes in the oven."

"Sold For sale Ellie Kopp 1-800-238-7463 Yaffle Realty Stop renting. Buy your boot from a boot."

Posh Easter Egg

"Frankly, Jackie Paper, I’ve done all I can with strings and sealing wax."

"Good heavens, Caruthers. It's the wife!"

"Any duck that thinks that decoy looks like a duck,swims like a duck and sounds like a duck, deserves to be shot!"

"This will look great on our bedroom wall."

Haunted museum

Joke Shop product - Not Funny After 10 Sept 87

"It turns out our health plan does cover eyeglasses."

'Celeb Foods: Damien Hurst's voles in brine.'

"One day son, all this will be going with me."

'I've seen this kind of thing before. In Vegas, I believe.'

Pianist.

"I wasn't kidding when I said my first movie, Aztec Warriors of the Moon, made a mint -- here it is."

"This is Norman's little bureau of alcohol, tobacco, and firearms."

"Darn paparazzi."

And when you give up using this to exercise, with the option keyboard it easily converts into a harpsichord!

Joke Shop and Novelties

"With the wearing of this mystic talisman, you will never be plagued by any of the minor ailments usually handled by over-the-counter drugs!"

'He was an evil king.'

Trump Chia Pet

Unsuccessful Christmas novelty items. Blitzen on a Kitten. Angel on a Bagel. Frosty on a coffee. Claus on your Bras.

"Forty years in this business and you suddenly decide you don't like gimmicky?"

Museum - Mummy as a sales assistant.

A man searching an Egyptian tomb finds a Shriner hat and car.

Common Dodo!

Fishbowl Vampire Castle

'For now on, there will be no more funny business.'

Surprise

'I am afraid Mr Cyclops, they only come in pairs.'