Collecting Talismans Pillows

"You're on a what?!"

'My luck, I buy a bottle of wine from 450 B.C. and it's still five years from reaching maturity.'

A golden Big Boy holding a plate of poop

"Oh no I left my bagpipes in the oven."

"Good heavens, Caruthers. It's the wife!"

"Frankly, Jackie Paper, I’ve done all I can with strings and sealing wax."

"Sold For sale Ellie Kopp 1-800-238-7463 Yaffle Realty Stop renting. Buy your boot from a boot."

Posh Easter Egg

"Any duck that thinks that decoy looks like a duck,swims like a duck and sounds like a duck, deserves to be shot!"

'Celeb Foods: Damien Hurst's voles in brine.'

"It turns out our health plan does cover eyeglasses."

Joke Shop product - Not Funny After 10 Sept 87

Haunted museum

"This will look great on our bedroom wall."

Pianist.

"One day son, all this will be going with me."

'I've seen this kind of thing before. In Vegas, I believe.'

"This is Norman's little bureau of alcohol, tobacco, and firearms."

"I wasn't kidding when I said my first movie, Aztec Warriors of the Moon, made a mint -- here it is."

And when you give up using this to exercise, with the option keyboard it easily converts into a harpsichord!

"Darn paparazzi."

Joke Shop and Novelties

Museum - Mummy as a sales assistant.

'He was an evil king.'

"Forty years in this business and you suddenly decide you don't like gimmicky?"

"With the wearing of this mystic talisman, you will never be plagued by any of the minor ailments usually handled by over-the-counter drugs!"

Common Dodo!

The AdRams Family no.15 - Godzilla screensaver

'Greetings 2000' Santa passing out gasmasks as presents to children

'I am afraid Mr Cyclops, they only come in pairs.'

Surprise

'For now on, there will be no more funny business.'