Collecting Gramophones Pillows

Dog training.

"I only like their bad albums – the good ones are too commercial."

Waking Up With Rooster.

"Queen begins with Q, it should be precisely here."

'Try his land line.'

"And His Majesty sends you a great big kiss, too."

The Music Lover.

Music Freak.

'This one is very effective. It sounds just like a can opener.'

'Oh it's fantastic. It's my thirty fourth favourite sub-genre of progressive rock.'

Mozart Clarinet

"Grandpa can't hear you. Turn on your caps lock."

"My phone won't fold but the manufacturer did."

"Grandma, somebody wants to talk to you, but I can't get your phone off this cord."

Bell invents the telephone.

"I've traveled billions of light-years and visited countless planets. Earth is the only place I can't get a signal."

Music Collector.

'I just love this new ring tone.'

"I think I've found your transistor radio."

A girl with a trolley full of antiques.

"In the olden days, people used payphones. Beats me how they took selfies!"

Mega Phone

Advisory: Incomprehensible Lyrics.

For the man who has everything: personal theme music.

"I just pick a new one each season. How else would you get a new Apple?"

'Do you by any chance have any conservatory music?'

"In my day we had trimphones."

"I'm sorry, but I'm afraid your son just isn't very smart."

"I don't need to know your age. I saw you suing a flip phone, so I'll just assume you're old."

'I'm sorry, but I'm not allowed to sell you that smart phone without first verifying your IQ.'