Collecting Phonographs Pillows

'Looks like he may be going deaf.'

Mike (The Situation) is rumored to have written the original manuscript for his best-selling memoir entirely out of bronzer.

"I'm less a role model than a cautionary tale."

"Check out this new store."

Graffiti artists signs his memoirs in bookshop.

Jimi Hendrix.

'-Not THE Queen Vic?'

Greatest hits, Greatest Misses.

'Hey,come on SIMON, DON'T go all shy now. It's not everyday you get the chance to meet your favourite Footballer in the flesh...'

Waking Up With Rooster.

'Try his land line.'

"Queen begins with Q, it should be precisely here."

'Billy - no! Do not ask for his autograph. He'll lose his natural fear of fans, become a nuisance, and then he'll need to be tranquilized and relocated to Europe.'

'Howard can't come to the phone now. He's standing by for a major concert announcement.'

Beatlemania: Open 24/8

Pub. This is John. He also loves obscure bands until they're popular then hates them. The Druidiots. Luckies. 50 ale.

Robert Drake

Alien asking for Bernard manning's autograph

Music Freak.

"Hey. Where the hell's my harmonica?"

'If you've brought us gifts we don't want any more Des O'Connor records!'

"The Who used to smash up their instruments after their shows — have you ever considered that?"

'Actually,no. It isn't okay to have a little chat and sign a few autographs!'

"Alright be cool. We're just gonna ask for an autograph and be on our way."

"Yeah, that's right...ignore me, pal! You don't want an instrument of my excellence and awesomeness that would instantly make you a chick magnet and the envy of all your friends!..."

"Can you perform under pressure?"

'I'm sorry, but I can't tell you which room the star basketball player is recovering in.'

Signing cage.

'I want to be a professional Polo player too when I grow up...Can I have your autograph please?'

Mozart Clarinet

"Grandpa can't hear you. Turn on your caps lock."

"My phone won't fold but the manufacturer did."

At the signing of William C.Lockland's latest best selling wheelbarrow.

"Just sign it 'To the Lucky High Bidder.'"

'Yeah, well I'm sick of being so danged happy all the time.'