Collecting Funny Items Pillows

Reject shop: God bowl.

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

Fly Football

Clown on bike.

'It's a difficult job, he needed a bigger than average 'stress ball'.'

hard-boiled egg...

Skeleton playing fetch.

Vegetarian Birds

'Ugh Look The whole garden is just one giant cat toilet'

Ball as water-melon.

'Kix? Yes, Ma'am -- you can get your Kix on aisle 66.'

'When you said you had an investment in gold, you didn't mention it was in your teeth!'

Bathroom Fairy

KAWAII T'AI CHI

Apocalypse Research Center

'Six years ago you received a complimentary set of steak knives. You thought they were free didn't you Jimmy?...'

A close shave on the Titanic...

'Oh, I don't have a problem, doc. My friend here has a problem.'

'Have you any W fronts?'

'Remember, before entering, make sure you wipe your feet on the hazmat.'

Tin Can Operation.

Melvin likes to indulge his inner child.

"Thank you for holding. . .Your call is important to us. . .Yeah right."

Nobody's Perfact (spelled wrong)

"I don't care who's naughty or nice anymore-I only keep track of who's crossed me."

'These are Martha's Camp Cupcake Muffins - and I've just ordered her new apron from the prison gift shop.'

"I got it in a novelty shop. But it has decreased loitering around the watercooler with 29%!"

Lesser Known Active Volcanoes.

Dog to dog: 'I hate the way pointers are always blaming somebody else.'