Collecting Humor Pieces Pillows

"I'm selling foot deodorant."

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

To no ones surprise, they ran head-on into one another. (All couples are wearing teachers reading 'I'm with Stupid'.)

'Me, I don't spend my pocket money: I hoard it...'

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

'Bert's dog training.'

Skeleton playing fetch.

'RUN FOR COVER!!!!! It's another one of those 'Baby Showers'!!!

Vegetarian Birds

"Whoa. Someone needs their diaper changed."

"Do we have to go to the beach? I think the airline mixed up my luggage."

A 'Falling Rock' and a 'Deer Crossing' zone.

'The bad news is you're going to marry a geek, and not a pro athlete. The good news is the geek owns the team.'

Cake Free Zone

"Eat me"

',,, and if anyone knows of a reason why these two should not be married, let them storm this castle with pitchforks and torches or forever hold their peace,'

A golden Big Boy holding a plate of poop

'I've just discovered that one of my ancestors was a Security Goose for the Roman Army...'

'Kix? Yes, Ma'am -- you can get your Kix on aisle 66.'

"Fantastic! Do you realize what we've just stumbled upon? It's the fabled Lost Glove Compartment of the Ancient Astronauts!"

"They retired me. Just like that. Seems I'm no good over 55 mph anymore." "How does that make you feel?" "Like I want to bash my head against a wall!"

A watch face with Stonehenge

Man falls in water Title: 'Willis was always an overachiever.'

'I hate to say I told you so, Larry, but that's why you check your car for bears before you put on your seatbelt.'

The Tale of the Tape of the Tail.

Mulching Vacuum Cleaner

Whatís that, boy? Youíre too tired for a walk and you just want to watch TV?

'Forget worms. Think fast food.'

"Guide to physical comedy fish"

Bathroom Fairy

'You've got the wrong idiot, number.'

Clown to clown on unicycle: 'How does it corner?'