Collecting Fragrances Gifts

"My husband is a stock broker; do you have anything that smells like 'old money'?"

Iowa: the new fragrance

"Do you have anything that says 'I love you, but only because you live in a sanctuary city'?"

"What is that lovely fragrance you're wearing, Penelope?"

Men find this shampoo irresistible. It's called 'Gee, Your Hair Smells Like A New Car'.

'A cheeky red?'

Wine Lady

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

'Eight years old, huh? If it's so good, why didn't somebody drink it eight years ago?'

Wine Selection 'Here we are. Our cheapest house wine. Would the gentleman care to smell the twisty cap?'

'If you're having trouble finding what you want, try our other store--'Cabernet Sauvignons Starting with the Letter B'.'

Wine enthusiast tries to make his way to Cork.

"You got maybe one that smells like cheese blintzes frying?"

'Al, that hopeless romantic, sends me love letters written in wine. I just wish he'd use red instead of white.'

Some scents are nonsense.

"My wife commissioned a portrait of me."

Woman thinking about luxuries.

'Frankincense, dummy! I asked for frankincense!'

'Does this perfume have an antidote?'

'French hypermarket' ' 5 English or less' till

true love.

"It's our latest scent...Dryer Sheet."

kangaroos hopping around in a vat of grapes to make wine for Australian wine company.

'I'm filling in for the sommelier. We have a fine shiraz today for only $39. It's 14.7 alcohol, a Class 1B flammable, so if I see you consume it near an open flame, I'll have to cite you.'

'I've written six books on wine; owned my own winery and taught a wine class for two years. My next goal is to taste some.'

'He'll love this cologne. It has the scent of an undervalued stock.'

Pheromones.

"I may be an aged whiskey, but inside I still feel like a fresh ear of corn!"

"I've tried that one; it's a blend of 74 different red grapes - including two of the plastic decorative type."

Wino Appreciation Group

'This scent goes well with a diamond necklace.'

"When a wine rates over ninety, this is not alcoholism."

The Stages of Wine

Hand Sanitiser on the Bar

'No, I can't remember the name of the wine, but it did come in a bottle about this tall, if that's any help.'