Collecting Dark Humor Art Gifts

"Ironically, it's sickle cell."

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

"Third quarter numbers were good after we cut our global workforce three to two."

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

'You're overdue for your checkup.'

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

"...and the humans turned Neville into 80,000 toothpicks..."

Men looking at black screen, "I call it film noir"

'You're going to have to make some changes in your lifestyle.'

Skeleton playing fetch.

'You can just forget about the cake.'

'... And this is my cellar.'

Another day at work would be one too many...

"Actually, it is a bad time — I’m rushing to get the kids out of the oven."

'Now they're just taking the piss.'

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

"Nobody ever asked about my mental health."

Forlornaments: Tools to drain individual and team spirit

At home with the Bones...one skeleton yells at the dog chewing his leg, 'now cut that out!'

Out To Lurch

'Alright, which one of you wise guys pulled the fire alarm?'

'The cash bonus incentives don't appear to be having the desired results. So, I've hired Rocky, here. He'll be providing the heads of the least productive departments with his own brand of incentive. If you know what I mean.'

'Negotiations have reached an impasse, legal recommends we resort to violence.'

"Just give me your wallet. Trust me, you do not want to deal with my misplaced sense of entitlement."

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

Who gets the anti-corona vaccine?

"I can never remember - do these go in garbage or compost?"

"Where do you see yourself in 20 to 25 years?"

Murder in Apartment 6-K

"Boy, this blooper reel from 'Manchester by the Sea' is a crack-up."

End the Winter Blues

"Pardon me, Vito, but I'm holding the talking stick now."

Grim Reaper Buying CDs...

The practical psychopath