Collecting Cuff Links Gifts

'What's wrong with me doc?' - 'Your cuff links are too heavy.'

"I bought it off the therapist who's helping me kick my compulsive shopping disorder."

'This is the only part of my old Army uniform that still fits.'

"It was better before God took up knitting."

Cat Tie

Pashminas are sooo noughties!

Special offer on snakeskin ties.

"1-1"

'I love it when you spoon me.' 'I love it when you fork me.'

'Here was proof that Lawrence was indeed an Englishman."

'The latest market research shows that men's neckware width is the most accurate indicator of market fluctuations.'

"Didn't I say you'd be the only man not wearing a bow tie?"

Football supporters.

"We've decided to give you a bonus, Rick. It's any change you find under the cushions."

Living with a cataholic.

The last of the Mom and Pop brokerage houses

Man guarding a written border.

A Fork-lift.

'I don't know what happened. One minute she's spooning me. The next minute I'm knifing her.'

'You've haed the eye exam. Now buy the t-shirt!'

Don't you like it, Dad?

Declaration of Independence. Legend has it that John Hancock signed his name extra large to annoy King George. The quill must have come from a mocking bird!

Robin Day.

"I've only just started practicing. I'm hoping the proceeds from these first few sessions will pay for a couch."

"Whose tie?"

'Your pen is noiser than a sword.'

Man at important looking desk lined with quill pens gets ready to shoot one at a dartboard on his wall.

'Throw it out? It's worth more! That's $27 worth of wine spilled onto a $12 tie.'

'We don't care if you're ZZ Top, ties required for gentlemen.'

The Spoonish Inquisition

"But part of me hopes there never is an Armageddon."

Cricket widow's revenge

"Take my advice—never let anybody talk you into joining the Tie-of-the-Month Club."

Chiropractic concerns

There's a fork in the road.