Collecting Cuff Links Pillows

'What's wrong with me doc?' - 'Your cuff links are too heavy.'

"It was better before God took up knitting."

'This is the only part of my old Army uniform that still fits.'

Cat Tie

Pashminas are sooo noughties!

Special offer on snakeskin ties.

"1-1"

'Here was proof that Lawrence was indeed an Englishman."

'The latest market research shows that men's neckware width is the most accurate indicator of market fluctuations.'

Football supporters.

"Didn't I say you'd be the only man not wearing a bow tie?"

"We've decided to give you a bonus, Rick. It's any change you find under the cushions."

Living with a cataholic.

Man guarding a written border.

The last of the Mom and Pop brokerage houses

A Fork-lift.

'You've haed the eye exam. Now buy the t-shirt!'

"I've only just started practicing. I'm hoping the proceeds from these first few sessions will pay for a couch."

Don't you like it, Dad?

'Your pen is noiser than a sword.'

Man at important looking desk lined with quill pens gets ready to shoot one at a dartboard on his wall.

"But part of me hopes there never is an Armageddon."

Cricket widow's revenge

"Take my advice—never let anybody talk you into joining the Tie-of-the-Month Club."

The Spoonish Inquisition

'Throw it out? It's worth more! That's $27 worth of wine spilled onto a $12 tie.'

Chiropractic concerns

There's a fork in the road.

"Have you considered the possibility that you could be too old for escapology classes?"