Collecting Bizarre Things Pillows

"Just once I would like to laugh or to frown."

'Going...Going...Gone! Sold to the lady with more money than sense.'

"We're looking for something for our panic room."

"You're lucky someone was nice enough to turn it in."

'When you said you had an investment in gold, you didn't mention it was in your teeth!'

'This book is so rare it's never been published.'

"Sold For sale Ellie Kopp 1-800-238-7463 Yaffle Realty Stop renting. Buy your boot from a boot."

'Oh, I don't have a problem, doc. My friend here has a problem.'

'Six years ago you received a complimentary set of steak knives. You thought they were free didn't you Jimmy?...'

An early Picasso painting is sold at auction - it is a painting from when Picasso was a child

'Please enter your pin now.'

"I don't care who's naughty or nice anymore-I only keep track of who's crossed me."

"Any duck that thinks that decoy looks like a duck,swims like a duck and sounds like a duck, deserves to be shot!"

'I just found out my vintage Roy Rogers lunch box is worth more than my 401k.'

'Congratulations! You've just won ten million dollars!'

"This will look great on our bedroom wall."

Reaction man - Road Rage Model

Lesser Known Active Volcanoes.

Potatoes.

Man finds a python in his breakfast egg

A Scottish Terrier playing bagpipes wins the dog show.

The Old Curiosity Shop

Pianist.

"This is Norman's little bureau of alcohol, tobacco, and firearms."

"That's what I call an off-off-off-off-off Broadway show!"

"I'm collecting everyday objects for a time capsule."

'My boss collects stupid hats, Is yours for sale?'

"Is there any way we could describe this bit of old tart that would make a Russian oligarch pay £2 million for it?"

Shoppers of Mystery.

And when you give up using this to exercise, with the option keyboard it easily converts into a harpsichord!

This would be Andy's first and last day as golf instructor at Sunset Oaks Country Club: "Remember, *hic*....Always jerk your head up and swing at the ball as hard as you can."

An old shoe in every bag!

Furniture faux pas: The coffee table coffin

"Can I suggest a hoarder's house? It's perfect for a young family of rats to move in and share with the current owner..."

Igor leaves an I.O.U. after stealing a brain.