Collecting Oddities Pillows

For custom hand-shredding, call Herman B.

Furniture faux pas: The coffee table coffin

Moments later, everyone would think Khrushchev was a kook.

World ends today, and that suits me just fine!

'Every time I hear the theme music I get this urge to suck my toes.'

'Franken-fauna: Monopod Pig.'

101 uses of a dead cat: briefcase

'A new activity for THE DANGEROUS SPORTS CLUB collecting tyre impressions'

The Tortoise and Hare Delivery Service, Allow 1 to 365 days for delivery,

"It's not necrophilia if you're both dead."

Codpiece Sales

'Going...Going...Gone! Sold to the lady with more money than sense.'

"We're looking for something for our panic room."

"You're lucky someone was nice enough to turn it in."

'When you said you had an investment in gold, you didn't mention it was in your teeth!'

'This book is so rare it's never been published.'

'Six years ago you received a complimentary set of steak knives. You thought they were free didn't you Jimmy?...'

'Oh, I don't have a problem, doc. My friend here has a problem.'

"Sold For sale Ellie Kopp 1-800-238-7463 Yaffle Realty Stop renting. Buy your boot from a boot."

'Please enter your pin now.'

"Any duck that thinks that decoy looks like a duck,swims like a duck and sounds like a duck, deserves to be shot!"

'Not till you're sixteen.'

"This will look great on our bedroom wall."

Reaction man - Road Rage Model

'Congratulations! You've just won ten million dollars!'

"I get that you're cold, but does he also have to eat all our meals with us?"

A Scottish Terrier playing bagpipes wins the dog show.

The Old Curiosity Shop

Pianist.

"I'm collecting everyday objects for a time capsule."

"Just once I would like to laugh or to frown."

'My boss collects stupid hats, Is yours for sale?'

"This is Norman's little bureau of alcohol, tobacco, and firearms."

Unnatural History Museum

An old shoe in every bag!