Collecting Bar Stories Gifts

'You know how they say, no matter how bad you got it, there's always someone worse off? Well I'm that someone.'

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

"Another flue shot, Larry.

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

“I may not know much about books, but I do know which titles burn best.”

The Rind of the Ancient Mariner.

'I feel cosmopolitan tonight, Joe - Give me a scotch with an irish Chaser.'

"On second thoughts, I'll have it stirred, not shaken."

"But, if I don't peel off the entire label, the label wins."

'I told you. . . H not S!'

'Of all the fern bars in Encino, she's gotta walk into mine.'

Frog and Princess in Bar

Raw Piano Bar

'Do you know how to make something called 'Casketon the beach?''

"I can see that you're a cultured individual..."

'I guess we're both out of luck. You like girls with big boobs, and I like a man with brains and halfway decent looks.'

Bad Hare Day

"These days, many people can only afford to drink from home."

"Barkeep, gimme a shot of your finest whiskey." "Not so fast there, partner." "Oh, sorry. A... sh... ot... of... yo... ur... fin... est... whis... key...."

Tepid Beer - Going out of Beer.

'Who was that Chad?' 'Ahh, just an old flame of mine.' Two candles at the bar talking about the flame walking out the door

"This could get nasty..."

'What a twist of fate!'

"In actual fact, most pubs these days cater for kids." (Toddler served milk at bar).

"Where can a fellow find some loose tea in this town?"

Lab rat at bar after work: 'No, seriously. I'm in medicine. Cutting edge stuff. I work in a lab downtown.'

"I've stopped looking for work, which, I believe, helps the economic numbers."

"I'm making an effort to limit my dependence on foreign vodka.

"Come on. You've been nursing that pint for hours!"

"That comes with some peanuts in a galosh."

Right that's it...you've had enough Bloody Marys!

"Make it one for my baby and one more for the road. And while you're at it I'll have one, too."

'Funny, you don't look Jurassic.'

"You know how to make a painkiller?"