Collecting Animal Jokes Gifts

Yes, I am a Sphynx-Cat, and yes, I am called "Fluffy". My Master has a sick sense of humour...

"Do me next."

"Yes, it's oil-paint: It's difficult to find water for watercolours around here..."

Cat croissant, cat baguette, cat muffin, cat turnover

"Hey, pal, let's hear 'Doggie in the Window' again, and this time play it like you mean it!"

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

Hey. Hey. Polly wants some folly.

Snowmobull

'A representative from Merrill Lynch to see you.'

"He's a dedicated lifter, but he always skips leg day."

'The bank says they're freezing my assets! I don't understand: They've always been frozen...'

"Now there's something you don't see everyday. How long have you been using dachshunds as sled dogs.?"

"Could you tell me how to get to cedar grove, New Jersey? I want to see where my grandfather was born."

'After years of practicing in empty theaters, Horace's dream of becoming a soft-shoe dancer seemed as remote as ever.'

Surprised chicken: 'I know. I can't believe it either.'

'Who had the ocean whitefish and tua paté?'

Of Mice and Men.

"All you're doing is emboldening cats."

"Honk if you love me!"

Browned off cows. They can't pull a cracker.

Cat plays an arcade game that involves shooting at gun into a mouse hole.

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

"I'm not his best friend. But he is in my extended network."

"Don't tell anyone, but some of my best cartoons are about cats."

"You're famous, Angus."

"I hate it..."

'Let's skip Mr. Arnold's house. He's the dog catcher.'

'What? I'm scratching the sofa! I'm not! And if I was? It's your fault!'

'You're the watchdog. Do you honestly expect us to believe you didn't see anything?'

'That's my weird Uncle Benny. He claims that he was abducted by aliens in white lab coats.'

"Okay, which one of you called me CANDYASS?!"

"I can't stop licking my boo-boo."

"Fuhgettaboutit, Charley. Ya been fixed."

"I've been at loose ends lately."

'Um. . . I don't think that's a candy bar.'