Collectible Curio Gifts

"What's the problem? Never seen a shark's tooth earing before?"

(oil - petroleum - gushing out of inkwell)

"Careful with that - the wife made it at pottery class."

'Oh don't listen to him! Norman wasn't a motivational guru... he was just that cat in those silly 'hang in there' posters.'

"Milk, butter, bread - all past the expiration date. either he just hadn't noticed before, or his time machine worked."

Trump Poutine

"I got a swiss army hook!"

'Being stuck on a desert island is one thing, but being struck on a desert island with a hoarder...'

"Guide to physical comedy fish"

The Gladiator.

Posh Easter Egg

'Oh, I don't have a problem, doc. My friend here has a problem.'

'I don't think I've ever heard of the Geezer Scouts or Geezer Scout cookies.'

Keep on Truckin.

"Since I've gone over to roll-ups I find I can get by on just one cigarette a day!"

Entomology Reference

'I'm full of stuffing so I'll have the potatoes.'

"My goodness, no! Grandfather would never, ever let us near this!!"

"Dear, there's someone here to collect your soul."

Barry gradually realised that buying a small car had its disadvantages

"Any duck that thinks that decoy looks like a duck,swims like a duck and sounds like a duck, deserves to be shot!"

"Did you hear? It turns out old power cords are really valuable! Good things Dad kept them!"

"No not the puppy please"

Man tried to unload a ship in a bottle.

"I used to be a veterinarian."

Guy on island sees giant ship in bottle.

'It even tells time in metric minutes.'

'Arnold, blow the whole depot, then hightail it out of here.'

An old gentleman speaking with a shoeblack at a train station

A mummy begs for change in front of the pyramids.