Colleague Going On Maternity Leave Gifts

'I'm afraid we can't deliver your baby until your CRB check comes through.'

Men find this shampoo irresistible. It's called 'Gee, Your Hair Smells Like A New Car'.

"Guys, can you use your Mommy-doesn't-want-to-know-I-exist voices?"

"We've decided your suggestion to have a day care center here at work has merit."

Balancing work and family

"You know what they say, there's one born every minute!"

"Since he was born today he won't begin daycare until tomorrow."

'How soon can I return to work? About fifteen minutes ago.'

"Johnson, you're new here, right? Mind if I pick your brain?"

-THIRTY thousand? I thought you wanted TEN thousand? -I'm having triplets!

The Working Mum

Bureau of the Damned

'Ms. Hatton, take a letter, a number and a hike...'

"I think I see a miscreant in the carpark. There's no time to call the police I must deal with it myself."

Newborn Chaos

'I will never cease to be amazed at how deftly she balances the demands of career and family.'

Laptops

Mother racing to work for a company with day care and a health club.

Melvin likes to indulge his inner child.

'Good to see you back at work.'

The boss and her baby

'I'm in the mood to cook!'

'Thanks for making it guys. Come on in and pull up a chair.' A square hole in an office floor where chairs can be pulled up from

"She then bit into the poison apple, hoping it would fend off the hostile takeover."

"I'm sorry, but we're not an online retailer. We can't guarantee delivery in 2 days."

"Haaaaah. . . . Back to the office. Better put on my happy face. . ."

"Our training on managing a work life balance is running late so you'll need to get someone to pick your kids up."

Rocking Chairs

"Keep pushing, I can see the head!"

'Sure, I'm a working mother - is there any other kind?'

'I told you we should have packed a lunch.'

Working Moms

'I didn't spend $49.95 on this answering machine to have you just hang up so leave a message!'

He's back from retirement as a consultant.

'Have you considered the career enhancement opportunities of giving birth in your lunch hour?'