Maternity Leave Advocate Gifts

'We give maternity leave on condition you name your baby after our company.'

"Your resume says that you've got your Ph.D., your M.B.A. and that you've worked as a C.F.O. and C.E.O. but that your most important title and position has been M.O.M.?"

"Since he was born today he won't begin daycare until tomorrow."

Aim for the Stars, Settle for an Asteroid

'How soon can I return to work? About fifteen minutes ago.'

'I'm afraid this doubles your bill.'

Virginia could tolerate the Woolf whistles no longer

"Wait, I'll go down with you. I'm just changing back into my rubber-soled actionwear."

"As Maggie Thatcher once said: 'Being powerful is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are, you aren't.'"

'I'm afraid we can't deliver your baby until your CRB check comes through.'

Newborn Chaos

'Remember the old days, when all of this was phallocentric?'

Laptops

International Women's Day

Mother racing to work for a company with day care and a health club.

"Yes, "breeding like rabbits" is often used in a pejorative sense. The truth is, we don't care as we love having kids..."

"Nine months in here?? I trust I can get out in seven months with good behaviour!"

"There's only so much bat-mansplaining a girl can take."

Celebrating Women Year-round

"How could I have problems with female managers? I've got a wife and two daughters!"

Going into the relationship, Tom knew Loretta was a package deal.

'We've cut funding on research, so to compensate, we've increased the booth babe budget.'

"I'm sorry, but we're not an online retailer. We can't guarantee delivery in 2 days."

'I'd rather be high up on the Totem Pole than high up on a pedestal.'

"Darling, am I your first?"

'I know we hadn't planned on getting a bigger car until we had kids, but I think we need one now to accommodate the bumper-stickers.'

Birth canal: Keep clear at all times.

'Have you considered the career enhancement opportunities of giving birth in your lunch hour?'

Women's Rights Gone Amuck...

"We Can Do It!"

Barrett - rushed majority

Baby Mums.

'I'm begging you, please don't let me go!'

Womanhatten.

Who'll fill in while your English teacher is on maternity leave? Probably and old-bag substitute. Teach English for a couple of months? I'd love to! Umm, nana? Aren't you too old to go back to teaching? Au contraire! They don't want anyone who could possibly get pregnant. Uh-oh. Age discrimination.