Collating Crusader Gifts

'I didn't write the report. I printed it directly from the Internet, but I did all of the stapling and collating myself.'

Face painting by numbers.

'It finally took me thirty years, but I finally have one of every 3-D comic book ever made'

Super-Tia makes Mal de Ojo undo its curse!

"But if we win and the Visigoths lose then we're the wild card."

'No, no....You have it all wrong!'

'A 'pregnant pause' is effective only if you've already said something.'

'What do you mean by, your people do not want to get in touch with my 'kind' of people?'

"You don't have anything planned for the next 196 years, do you?"

'I made hundreds of copies to give to all the students in my school. By the way, the color printer is out of ink.'

"Quit moving"

"Have you figured out what the powers of that new super hero will be? How about the power to meet deadlines? That would be a good power?"

'Instead of the dollar or the Yuan, I'd like my allowance pegged to the value of the comic book,'

Holiday Overkill.

"You may join the crew, Sir, but first you must promise never to write a book about us."

'We lost funding.'

"My name is Phil, and I, too, am..."

Union and Non-Union Carpenter Ants.

'Face it, DuChamps -- you're in a rut.'

'I'm afarid your son has all the classic elements of geekism,minus the technical expertise.'

'Well, I'm off to the crusades, happy mother's day!'

A Blanksy

"Not again!"

"I've just finished crafting a non-violent solution to our problems."

'We'd like to speak with you about your coal policy.'

'I don't think Ed wants to make the crusades come alive for the kids. I think Ed is afraid of the kids.'

Knead Dough? Apply Here!

"I don't object to their right to roam, I just wish they would wipe their feet."

Ludwig van Beethoven