Collagen Connoisseur Gifts

"I'm only flesh and blood. And, of course, collagen."

'I know you're really proud, dear. But, don't you think people might think you're bragging?'

"And, when the DNA test results arrived, the woman realized her so-called 'little terrier mix' had been part German shepherd all along."

'Oh, really?... I'm actually more of a dog person.'

'Or we could just ask her what kind of dog it is.'

"Hmmm... low ash content. Smells like someone switched to canola oil... wait, is that tripe I smell?"

The Main Types of Cheese

Canine obidience class: 'He wouldn't budge from the armchair.'

"Joel! Killer crust!"

"I'm going to get you fired."

Cheese

"My smelly French cheese is much better than your Canadian beef."

'Another blond hair! You've been making a lot of night calls lately...'

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The Running of the Brie

Rejoice! It's time to celebrate the baby cheeses!

'Is this a party, a cheese and wine do, a cocktail party, a soiree or just another of your old cronies get-togethers?'

"Just toot my horn and I'll be there."

"Of course I love you more than cheese. What a silly question. In fact, cheese and I are just friends. Nothing's going on between cheese and me."

Two men toting a dog in a carriage by foot, while the dog sticks his head out the window.

'Try the steak tartare...it's okay.'

"If man is my best friend, why is he giving me this crap to eat?"

"I'm retaining doughnuts."

Great moments in 'Haute Cuisine'. . . America gives the world the Donut Sandwich.

"What's all this?"

Dog Park Zoom

'No, that's not my shaving lotion. We've been burning cow chips in the wood stove.'

Pizza with Extra Extra Cheese.

Magic coat fixing problems while walking the dog.

A skinny dog drawn with zen brush.

'Have you tried out new Labrador Retriever Butt Scent?'

'I can see the practical side of fetching, but what's the point of rolling over?'

'Has someone cut the cheese?'

Dog Sees Only Food