Cold Remedy Explorer T-Shirts

'She just has a head cold - Try keeping her nose out of the fridge for a few days!'

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

Hot Pie Therapy

Institute of Health next to Alternative medicine dept

'Mom's Spa'

"Aren't you getting a little carried away with this herbal medicine, Doctor?"

"I'm not feeling well. I'm picking up a few things at my pharmacy."

"It's all locally-sourced, made from scratch."

"CBD… oil… CBD… oil…"

"Okay, Jaxcsunn, stay still in the crystal circle while I douse you in essential oils."

'I can't wait for a generic version of eyes of newts to come out.'

"It's just that you might find food a lot cheaper!"

"Lay off the natural remedies. You're beginning to ferment."

'I want you to try an alternate cure for your insomnia-start watching daytime television.'

Alternative medicine

Itchy Bum? WD-3000.

"The pharmacist will be with you shortly to answer any questions that you have."

"Any pain relief with the cannabis?"

'Laughter is not always the best medicine, Mr. Jonic.'

"Well Doctor, I thought if a placebo works, this might as well..."

"This is just a placebo cast, but it makes a lot of people feel better."

'Try the tea. It's herbal. It works wonders when you have a stuffed head.'

Your insurance doesn't cover leeches, but some patients are reporting good outcomes with the escargot.

'I believe one of the doctors here practices alternative medicine.'

Chicken Noodle sold out.

'Can you keep a secret? This particular remedy is illegal in 49 states.'

"What's the big deal? All these politicians talk about a health care plan! I have a health care plan!"

"I'm going to prescribe you four metres of bubble-wrap three times a day."

'Have you tried Lourdes?'

"So, where'd you learn acupuncture, Doc?"

CBD Oil for Neurotics

"For our session today, I'd like to try something a little different."

"Our medical intuitive will read your now."

For Witches of a Certain Age

Pharmacy Closed. . . Chicken Soup.