Cold Climate Curious Pillows

'We don't get many turtles here.'

"It's not the persistent lack of sunlight or freezing temperatures that bother me - it's the crowds I can't stand."

'Mighty strange weather tonight, followed by downright weird tomorrow....'

Keeping warm.

'If, as you say, they're so evolved, why do they need to wear clothes to survive?'

Weatherman: "Tonight's weather forecast is confusing, followed tomorrow by downright bewildering."

'According to the diagnostic computer, your problems are due to El Nino.'

Today's lesson, the rainforest.

"...and if you add wind-chill factor, the next plague will be even worse!"

'It's the abominable snowman!'

Ice Fishing

'...And the mama bear's porridge was frozen solid....'

'Hours out here in the freezing cold and not a deer in sight! That's it - I'm going home!'

'I don't get it. They told me to serve merlot at room temperature.'

Dog Igloo.

CSI: Alaska. "What have we got, Ted?" "Looks like a snowball with a rock in it...I'll know more when I get it back to the lab."

"I'm never ready for sweater weather."

'Wait! Don't get in. . . It's totally cold.'

Cold Enough to Freeze Brass Monkeys.

"Aw, geez. My nuts are frozen." "T-T-Tell me about it."

"Yes, the migration flight home is always faster, but it's thanks to the prevailing winds, not just because we're keen to get home..."

"Did no one tell you that at this time of year everybody flies south?"

'Well, so much for whale-whispering.'

Just north of the rainforest: the mostly-sunny-with-a-30%-chance-of-rainforest

'The temperature isn't too bad at -15, but when you add on the wind chill factor... '

'...and the temperature is controlled by a thermostat which keeps it at a controlled zero year round.'

"The Real Reason For Global Warming."

'Honey, I'm looking fat in white!' 'Trust me, dear. In a few months, the pounds will be melting away.'

"Yes, it's true we have 17 words for 'snow', but only one way of saying, 'I'm really tired of hearing that same question'."

"It's January Dad, where's the snow?"

Ice Whaling