Cold Climates Pillows

'You can deny it till you're blue in the face butyou're definitely incontinent!'

'It's rock hard this water-bed of yours.'

'Maybe a massage wasn't a good idea after all.'

CSI: Alaska. "What have we got, Ted?" "Looks like a snowball with a rock in it...I'll know more when I get it back to the lab."

'Just as I thought...made in Alaska!'

'Marry me and I'll let you share my electric blanket!'

"Yes, it's true we have 17 words for 'snow', but only one way of saying, 'I'm really tired of hearing that same question'."

Slipping Insurance $5.

'Global warming or not, it's still freezing here...'

'...And the mama bear's porridge was frozen solid....'

"-And this property even has a swimming pool!"

"No. Have to say we don't get many tourists around here!"

Ice Bar Conversations

"Must've left the electric blanket on...!"

Eskimo urinates on an igloo.

Eskimo child sells lemonade icees in the arctic north.

"An exchange programme with Guantanamo would be nice this time of year."

"These thermal boots which the scientist left behind are great. Finally my feet are warm."

'You never knew your father -- He chilled out.'

'A tourist gave them to me and now I'm toasty and war.'

"Out of my way bird brain!" - Minus Zero Tolerance.

'Hours out here in the freezing cold and not a deer in sight! That's it - I'm going home!'

Penguin snowball.

'I can remember when this was just ice.'

"I just built me a summer home up north."

'Of course I look cool! Eskimos always do.'

Eskimo and his PC in fridge.

'I told you getting a hot water heater was a bad idea.'

'I don't get it. They told me to serve merlot at room temperature.'

I'D RATHER BE IN MIAMI, 'Oognik, I'd like to talk to you about your attitude,,,'

"It's not the persistent lack of sunlight or freezing temperatures that bother me - it's the crowds I can't stand."

"I know I'm a little early, but sometimes I need a break from that dreadfully cold weather."

'Well, we always go to the same place for our holidays, so yes, we kind of migrate too...'

As the world emerges from the last ice age Ug & Og discuss a historic agreement to reduce CO2 emissions from woolly mammoth barbecues.

Keeping warm.